On the subject of Mondays. Why do I hate them today? I just do 😛
We had a small panic this week because the post office cut Josh’s hours again. Well, today, he was asked if he wanted to do two days at the Ottawa office. He gets paid for mileage from the Lawrence station to the Ottawa one, and it’s about the same distance from the apartment to Ottawa as it is to Lawrence, so we all good 🙂 He could still get called in on Wednesday, so *woot* HOURS!!
See, the bitching and moaning does pay off. Even if no one else reads it, the worry is out so that I can focus on the good 🙂
NaNo Update, from my LJ (written yesterday):
Okay, I think I’m finished writing for the day. We’ll see, I guess, LOL.
3351 / 50000 words. 7% done!
Now to bitch a little.
Okay, I’ve reached the end of my first chapter. All of those words are in the first chapter. The bad news? The MCs have already fought, she’s already cried over him, and they’ve already kissed. WTF? Gah! That’s annoying!!
Yes, with Were-Hunters, they have to have sex before they find out that they’re mates, but WTF, dude? Seriously?
Adrienne is an f’ing wuss. No, I’m not writing her like that. She *wants* to be that way. Where the hell is the strong, tough bitch who refuses to give Osias the time of day? One kiss and she’s a puddle until the brother of your best friend shows the slightest interest in you and *bam* that’s when you grow your spine? GAH!!
And Osias? Dude, I’m about ready to just kill you off. I’ll give Adrienne to Dev. Yeah, he’s a dick, but shit, at least he’s not saying one thing to one female and another to Adrienne. You cocky bastard!!
Anyone else dealing with issues like that?
I hate days like this. Days where I’m in limbo on whether I’m pregnant or not.
It makes me think back to when I was pregnant with Ethan and Madi, and remembering how I felt. Even at the worst of it, I felt complete. I loved being pregnant. I actually didn’t mind the labor, because I knew what would come of it. Hell, I even think the pain was worth it.
I would love to have another baby, though I know it would break the bank. I hate feeling like this, feeling like I’m torn in two, knowing another baby isn’t really a smart thing right now, but still wishing I was.
Please, someone, tell me it’s okay. I hate feeling like this. I just absolutely hate it.
ETA: I’m editing this to add that Josh and I are not expecting number 3. What really sucks? He’s totally and completely against number 3 ever occurring. I still fluctuate, so I definitely won’t be getting fixed anytime soon. I just need to find a birth control that works, doesn’t fuck me up, and is less for me to worry about.