That’s me in my natural state
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As you might recall, I was removed from a CT. Well, the owner of the store personally contacted me, and made sure that I was still going to be at the forum itself because she liked having me there. I had already made the decision not to leave because I love the forum and the people there, plus the other kit creators just rock my socks. But that message? It really made my day.
Yesterday was not a good day for me. First, I didn’t sleep a wink (and I mean that LITERALLY). Then, I’m carrying the laptop out of the bedroom and the FAN breaks. The little leg just snapped right off, right at the bend. Lovely! Then, my kids both wake up in very pissy moods. Ugh!! I didn’t want to deal with that.
So, I’m freaking exhausted with two pissy kids and my husband is going to be working late because all the carriers want 4-5 days weekends, so he’s picking up an extra hour and a half PLUS a full-coverage AND a third bundle. Oi!! So, I spend most of the day being lazy on the couch.
Well, I get an e-mail from the owner of the forum and store. The e-mail actually makes me cry because it made me feel like I really hadn’t done something wrong and that others liked me (being chosen for more CT also helped with that). I’m so glad she wrote me. And I’m glad I make her laugh during Speed Scraps. I seem to have that effect on ALL speed scraps, :lol:.
Okay, back to your scheduled programing.
Oh, and if you’re curious, Josh did replace my laptop fan!!
I was diagnosed with bi-polar at the age of fifteen. Prior to that, I was diagnosed with depression only. The manic episodes I experienced were never questioned until I attempted suicide because of Zoloft. I was barely fifteen then. I didn’t want to die. I just had those thoughts that I couldn’t control.
After the attempt, I was admitted to the Mulberry Center in Evansville, IN. I spent over 6 weeks there, in which they saw the rapid changes of moods. After the diagnosis and release, I was pretty much dropped from all mental health care. No, the insurance company didn’t refuse to allow me to be covered. The doctors seemed to think the diagnosis meant a cure. I don’t really understand it either.
Since that diagnosis, which I’m not even sure is accurate, I’ve learned to deal with mood fluctuations and to realize triggers and signs. Stress is a huge trigger for me, and with the economy the way it currently is, I’m under a lot of stress.
I have a tendency of taking that stress out on my kids. I get loud and mean, sometimes. My kids have learned the signs as well as my husband, and all of them give me a wide-berth when they see it coming. Lately, though, since the insertion of my Mirena IUD, I’ve been able to keep a better handle on my emotions. The levonorgestrel is what seems to help, as I also found similar relief with Alesse, but the emotional roller coaster was made worse with those contraceptives using estrogen.
I’m having to learn how to deal with the kids when the roller coaster hits, though, and that’s not easy. I’m looking for suggestions because its so easy to lose control and hurt a child. I don’t mean physical. I would never hurt my child physically, as I was abused as a child.