Tag Archives: mental health

5 Lesser Things Known About Me

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  1. Most people know I have trich, but most do not realize that it started when I was a freshman, when I was living in a youth home. It was the one thing I could control about my life. I couldn’t control my blow-ups, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t control the rollercoaster ride that had become my life. Now, though, it controls me, as most forms of OCD tend to do.
  2. I love to be organized. It doesn’t show in my housekeeping at all, but if you need to find something on the computer? You’ll have absolutely no issues doing it. I’m almost anal about it. It’s why I have to have my own log-on with the computers. I hate clutter and mess with computers.
  3. I am not as unassuming and innocent as people think. People see me and think “little girl, weak and puny” because I’m 5’4″ and about 125lb. They don’t know that there is a spine of steel inside of me, and I will not back down. It also means that I burn my bridges quite a bit. I also usually have no remorse about the bridges being burnt.
  4. People assume that I’m a stuck-up, snotty bitch because I’m quiet. People who know me know the truth. I’m loud, I’m obnoxious, and I’ll argue you to death. If I know you. If I don’t? I’ll be hiding in the corner, trying to blend in, hoping no one notices me.
  5. I’ve only been drunk once in my life, and that was right before I turned 30. No one seems to believe that, but it’s the honest truth. Heck, it wasn’t even that drunk. i have been tipsy, and less than sober before that (and after), but never actually drunk. Josh has video proof on his phone that he’s willing to show to anyone, and well, everyone.

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14 November, 2013 · 11:36 am

Let’s Go For a Trip

Lufthansa Boeing 747-400 (D-ABTD "Hamburg...

Lufthansa Boeing 747-400 (D-ABTD “Hamburg”) taking off in Frankfurt (EDDF) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I need a vacation. Badly. Things just suck right now. So, I’m not not checking out Lufthansa flights, or anything like that, but I’m ready to just take off and go somewhere else.

I want to just board a plane, and fly away. Germany sounds like a good enough destination. I know a bit of German, and I’ve got German in me.

I’m needing the vacation badly, though. I know I’ve mentioned it, but I felt it needed to be said again.

Yesterday, I got the news that my grandfather had passed away. It wasn’t that it was unexpected. He’d been dealing with cancer for several years, and we all knew the end was close. But it just feels like it happened faster than it should have, or something.

My grandfather wasn’t biologically my grandfather. He’s the father of my step-mom. I consider her my mom, though (in all ways but biological). He always accepted me for me, and encouraged me to be the very best that I could be. Because of him, I found my love of writing. This year’s NaNoWriMo will definitely be dedicated to him.

I’m not able to go to the funeral for him. The kids have school, and Josh has to work. I know myself, and high stress situations, and this is definitely going to be a high stress situation. My Mammaw is a little nuts, as is my aunt and my sister. The only sane one was my grandfather, and my mom. Without him, the whole dynamic has a risk of falling apart, and I don’t want to see that. I don’t want my kids to see it.

So, we’re going to send edible foods to them, or something like that. Thankfully, my parents understand, and my amazing grandfather would understand as well. He always said that school was the most important thing, and that you have to take care of your family. This is how I’ll be taking care of my family.

Pappaw/Big Jerry, I’m going to miss you. You were one of the cornerstones of my life, that kept me from going too far over the edge. You’re always going to be in my thoughts. I love you!

 

 

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My Past Few Weeks

I’ve been quiet. Really quiet. On the blog at least.

I stopped the daily vlogging. I’ll be making more videos, once I find the Firewire cord for the tower, if it fits. Old tower did. We’ll see. This laptop doesn’t have that ability. I have four USB 3.0 ports but no Firewire. None of the ones I looked at had them. I’m searching for that ability so I can use the REALLY NICE camera. Suggestions. The camera we have HAS a USB connection but it doesn’t work that way. Uses mini-DVs. Yeah, I want to upgrade but we just upgraded the laptop, so unless someone gives us the money for it, it’s not going to happen.

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We’re doing Science Fair Projects. And … this one failed. Oh well!
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No, No, No

Fine!! First, I gotta say that I never want to see another set of scales again, but I will admit my weight: I weigh 135 right now. I’ve gained about 8 pounds since I stopped working out at the beginning of the year. *gag* That’s so freaking pathetic. Well, as I said, that I’m no longer making excuses, it still sucks to have to admit how much I’ve gained. The worst part? I haven’t changed my eating habits. I barely eat as it is. Ugh! It sucks so freaking hard!!

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