If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that I’m on the hunt for a local primary care provider here in Topeka. I had one in Holton, who has since moved to Topeka, and I literally drive by his office anytime we leave the apartment, unless we’re going to Madi’s school. I do not like him though. He treated me like a moron who didn’t know her own body when I told him there was something lodged in my ribs while I was pregnant. He still didn’t believe me after Ethan was born, and there was a rib-shaped imprint in his foot (which he still bears to this day). He also brushed off concerns that other members of Josh’s family (Jamie and Kathy), which could have prevented many things, in our opinion.
I’ve never been one to actually want to see a doctor, but I’m tired of living in pain with my digestive system. I’m tired of one time thinking I figured out what caused the problem, and then cutting it out. And adding it back a few months later, being fine, only to have it start up all over again. I’m tired of being jumpy and jittery and never being able to sleep because my brain won’t shut up.
I’m just tired of not feeling like myself. I’m just tired of feeling like someone else is living my life and that I’m living in a fog.
I’m just tired of lying to myself and saying that everything is fine and that nothing is wrong.