Tag Archives: depression

Uh … Where Did the Month Go?

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30 Days of Lists {Sept 09}

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  1. Household chores
    I don’t like cleaning. I’m not a fan, unless I’m getting paid 😉
  2. Crappy books
    Crappy books make life miserable. I want to read good books.
  3. Storm system headaches
    We’re expecting some wicked storms, and I’m expecting the wickedness of my head to compete
  4. Slow internet
    Thankfully, it’s not getting sluggish right now, but I do
  5. Sleeping inspiration
    It’s on a downslope and I don’t know how to revive it 🙁
  6. Lack of desire to eat
    I need to eat, but food just doesn’t sound appetizing to me :/
  7. Unable to find the perfect font
    That’s ALWAYS a problem, and I have so many installed that it’s even worse!

My Past

Amusing Myself

When I was growing up (12-16), I was on meds for anxiety, depression, and the like. I went through something similar to Xanax detox addiction abuse withdrawal but it was with Zoloft. Including a suicide attempt, at fifteen.

I’m proud that I survived, but I’m not proud that a med let me get to that point. Yeah, it was the med, trust me on that. I had talked suicide, but it was more of a way of getting attention. The act of going through with it was brought on by the meds. Since then, I have been unmedicated for my mental issues, and there has been a difference. It was made worse by the meds.

Since I had kids, and have been on birth control, we are seeing that my issues were all hormone-related. That was why the meds weren’t working and were actually just making the situations worse.

Say No to the Stress

So, house we liked? Bid on. No, that’s not the bad news.
We got told for the first time since we officially started looking in OCTOBER that we have to put down 2% good faith, out of our own pockets. That seriously scares us. NO ONE warned us about that. The biggest reason we wanted a rural development was because of NO MONEY DOWN! It’s a bigger loan, yes, but it’s less out of pocket at the get-go, meaning we can buy a stove and fridge, since 90% of the houses we’ve looked at have one or BOTH gone. 🙁

I’m sick of the stress. This wasn’t part of the deal, and no one told us about it!

Making Something

I’ve been messing with the laptop and the tower.

Lots of digi-scrapping

Lots of cutting.

Switching of inks.

Changing of blades.

I’m accomplishing much, without accomplishing anything.

That’s how it’s been lately.