I’ve got a theme “waiting in the wings”. It’s the “Eye of the Beholder” from Themes ‘n Dreams. I like the theme. I think it’s absolutely gorgeous 🙂
Yesterday, after Josh got home, I had a complete and total meltdown. Not pretty. Not fun. That’s the main reason I’m looking into switching pills. I hate being mental!
No plans for Valentine’s Day. I think Josh is picking up a dvd player, though. Ours is officially on it’s last leg (the one in our room). 🙁
Oh, and HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!
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Manda had a wonderful entry up about child abuse. I made a comment, and I feel this need to go even more into the subject.
I wasnâ€™t sexually abused as a child, as far as I know (thereâ€™s a lot about the 3 year period between my parents divorce and my dad getting custody of us that I donâ€™t remember), but I was definitely emotionally and physically. A big huge problem is the fact that people do notice, do contact the proper authorities and nothing comes of it. Three of my bio. bitchâ€™s bosses contacted DCF (Florida) about our living conditions (roaches, lack of food, etc), and the suspected (known in some cases) abuse, and DCF didnâ€™t do anything. Never once even attempted to contact my father. Those that contacted took matters into their own hands, and contacted my father themselves. With their testimony, she gave us up without so much as a fight, with the only â€œpaymentâ€ being her CC got paid off. For $3K, she gave us up.
Because of this, Iâ€™m so over-protective of my babies itâ€™s ridiculous. Only certain people watch them. Makes going out harder than all get out, but Iâ€™d rather be safe than sorry.
Everyday, when you’ve got bi-polar, it seems to be a struggle to find happiness. I get frustrated and depressed so easily. I also can easily slip into a manic episode, if I’m not careful. With me being un-medicated, though, I feel I have a better grip on it, at least better than I did when I was on anti-depressants, and nothing else, :lol:. Right now, I’m floating on a happy medium. The babies are sitting in the room with me, quite content to watch Robin Hood, and to play with each other.
Since Josh and I have been going together, we’ve been able to help figure out my triggers, what can trigger an episode. Sometimes there isn’t one, but there can be, and when there is, it’s usually a bad episode. The triggers are quite personal, and not ones I wish to really discuss, but it does make me wish that I had mental-health coverage, in some form. Isn’t it ironic that when you want help, you’re pretty much denied due to lack of health care?
Josh is getting over a “severe cold”. He slept 18-20 hours yesterday. He seems to be doing a lot better now. Along with him being sick, I’ve been dealing with a major migraine. I resorted to taking FOUR Aleve last night, just to get some sleep. Ethan had a slight fever last night, but seems to be doing great now, so who knows what was going on.
Julie, her sister, Mark’s mom, and I (plus the brats) will be going to the bridal expo later this month. No clue how we’re all going to get there, :lol:. We need a huge ass van for all of us to easily fit. That or many vehicles taken. I guess we’ll figure it out later on, *giggles*
Okay, never mind on that. I was gonna try and have it set up so that SMF automatically comes here, but I think I broke it, so never mind on that, :lol:. I was in full-blown panic mode. Not fun, very scary. Kids, though, seemed to find it funny, and did everything they could to make it worse. O.o Well, at least they weren’t scared. But damn, no wonder Madi curses already O.o HELP!
And now some normal bitching: MARK! Gah!! This is just wrong. He told Josh he had somewhere to be tonight O.o He got off an hour ago, because Josh switched with him. Josh gave up 2 hours with the kiddos (though he got a bit of time this morning), and Mark didn’t even end up going *grumble*
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