A continuation. Wrote 200 words, double the minimum.
Current word count: 916
Daily goal: reached 100
Monthly goal: 916/5000 :: 18.3%
He dropped her hand, and grabbed her chin instead. Her, none too gently, forced her to look at him. “We completed the ritual, my darling. You’re stuck with me, no matter which way you want to slice it. Trust me, I curse the Fates every day that the one I’m destined to be with wants absolutely nothing to do with me.”
He let go of her chin, and sighed. He stepped away, and walked towards the window. He briefly looked out the window, before turning and facing her. He leaned against the window frame. “I’m not trying to bullshit you here, Becca. You know, no matter what, that’s the one thing I’ll never do.”
“Then tell me why you’re here. The whole truth, and don’t leave anything out. And why did you leave? I’m sick and tired of being told a million different things. I’m just sick of it all.” She didn’t completely understand why she felt so hurt hearing him say, though, that he cursed the Fates that they’d been chosen to be mates. Despite all the crap, there was no one she’d rather be mated with, even if she was currently annoyed and pissed off about the whole thing.
#1 by Krissy on April 26, 2008 - 6:41 pm
Another good excerpt. Can’t wait to see more. Couple of things (and if you want me to stop, just tell me so and I will) You’ve got Her instead of He in the first line. Your second paragraph has a lot of sentences that begin with he. You could mix that up a bit, umm…He let go of her chin, and sighed. Stepping away, he walked towards the window. He briefly looked out of the window, before turning and facing her. Leaning against the window frame he said, “I’m not trying to bullshit you here, Becca. You know, no matter what, that’s the one thing I’ll never do.” See the difference? It could just be a difference in our writing styles, though. Think about it, k?
#2 by S. C. Burkett on April 26, 2008 - 7:18 pm
I added an extra “r” at the end of the first word of the second sentence, xD.
I have problems with starting sentences not with “he”, “she”, or “I”, :lol:.
#3 by Krissy on April 26, 2008 - 8:09 pm
*nods* So do most people. Its a bad habit. I do it, too, when I’m not focusing on how I’m writing. *shrug*