I just found out yesterday, or the day before, one of those days , that my sister’s graduation is exactly 8 years after mine. o.O To the day. Holy crap on a cracker! I’ll be seeing what my parents saw 8 years prior when I watch my sister make that big famous walk into the Reitz Bowl. Amazing that almost 18 years have gone by already since Megan said “Hello world, watch out”. She’ll be 18 in t-minus 6 days. Her 12th birthday was on that fateful day now known as Patriot’s Day.

In other news, I feel like absolute shit. I’m just lethargic. Biggest reason is the freaking weather fluxuations. Fall is starting a few weeks early. *grumble* That, and we’ve got storm clouds that’ll hang out for a few hours, and float away, but leave the humidity. It’s driving me bonkers. Oh and yeah, being female SUCKS right now. I miss my BC. I want it back, . Just a few more days!! Just a few more days!! Biggest, most main reason for being exhausted. I hate being anemic.

Mom and I were talking though, about something important. She and I had both been thinking back of when things were nuts when I was a teen. I was violent, out of control, and all that scary stuff. I’ve been diagnosed as ADHD, BiPolar, and ODD. Combine the three, and you get PMDD.

Symptoms:

Feeling sad, hopeless, or worthless -

Feeling tense, anxious, or “on edge” -

Mood swings interspersed with frequent tearfulness -

Persistent irritability, anger, and increased interpersonal conflict -

Difficulty concentrating -

Feeling fatigued, lethargic, or lacking in energy -

Changes in appetite (may be associated with binge eating or craving certain foods) -

Inability to sleep or sleeping excessively -

Having a subjective feeling of being overwhelmed or out of control -

Other physical symptoms such as breast tenderness or swelling, headaches, sensations of “bloating” or weight gain with feelings of tightness in clothing, shoes, or rings. Joint or muscle pain may also be present. -

Yeah, holy crap! Read my blog! You’ll see all the symptoms. Add these to a teenager who’s confused and pissed at the world already because it’s handed her a rotten deal, and you’ll see the whole big picture. It’s amazing that no one saw this. No one picked up on this. No one! Biggest reason? This started BEFORE I officially started, but after I started puberty. The big huge thing with the blow-ups and all that all started when I finally did start (after that first initial).

The treatment:

There is a class of drugs known as gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) agonists that prevent ovulation. These drugs are usually reserved for women who have severe PMDD that has not responded to better established and better tolerated treatments.

The second hormonal approach to PMS/PMDD is the use of progesterone or estrogen to directly relieve symptoms. More study is needed to see just how this might fit into the treatment of PMDD.

The second treatment is technically what’s being done for me. I’m on a combination pill that now includes a small does of progesterone (well, a form of it, called norgestimate), along with estrogen (once again, a form of it: ethinyl estradiol). Plus, birth control prevents ovulation. That’s why I take 3 months worth and then take a week off. 1 week of hell out of three months, instead of 3 works for me.

Another suggested treatment, of course, was drugs. One big one suggested was Zoloft. When I was 15, I attempted suicide. I didn’t want to die. I just kept thinking “I wonder if I’d die” or some shit like that. The thoughts were brought on by the Zoloft. I’d never once considered actually committing suicide (said I wanted to die, yes, but never would have attempted) until I was on Zoloft. It happened BOTH times I was on it. First time I was taken off because I had a severe allergic reaction (hives from head to toe, literally on every inch of my body). Same asshole doctor who put me on it the first time, who saw the results first hand, put me on it the second time, overruling the wishes of both myself and my parents.

It’s pathetic how fast medical “professionals” are to diagnose someone as something needing major meds, when a good portion could just be something else that doesn’t require meds. Hell, I’d agree with the ADHD. That, and ADD, are both treatable with a change in diet and a bit more structure in life (Megan is ADHD was confirmed and diagnosed, and has been unmedicated as of the past 2 years, and doing 100% better than when she was, and same with my brother, who was diagnosed as ADD - that one I believe - but hasn’t been medicated since he was a freshman). People are willing to pump themselves with drugs, and most of the time, a good look into their life, and they might see something they can change that’ll improve everything.

I’m not saying that mental disorders and things don’t exist. Dad takes Paxil (depending on stress levels), and I can attest that they seriously help him. He’s done everything to lower stress levels (changed jobs; switched careers; etc), and nothing helped for long. He’s not on the drug constantly. He does about a month stint, and then goes off for a few months. This is all with doctor supervision, one that finally understands my family’s desire to not be medicated for everything.

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