Well, that makes me very, very, very sad. I just noticed that VF is closing doors I was wanting, so badly, to join there, because of the awesome tuts and lines that I see being used from there. While I do understand the motivation, it really sucks, because I was planning on joining when/if she opened for new members. *sigh*

That does remind me though, that when I get “paid” again, I gotta rejoin Pixel Tut Junkie. My membership lapsed, and I really liked it there. Right now I’m broke, so it’s not possible.

And sheezus, the world is dead today. There’s no e-mail in ANY of the groups that I’m a part of, except for an occasional Whuddle World related one. I joined there (sarahsmf), but still haven’t figured out the allure and why so many people are “addicted” to it. *shrug* Make no sense whatsoever to me.

Okay, here’s what I need the input on: HAIR COLOR!! I’m planning on getting it recolored, and I can’t make up my mind what I want. I’m thinking a deep, deep, but dark red, or the same but in brunette. Ideas, please I’d really appreciate it.

If it helps, I’ve got natural red undertones and highlights, due to Irish heritage. I also develop natural highlights so easily, and no clue where that comes from, . And, I like the idea of the red. I’d go with strawberry blonde, but I’d rather have the blonde stuff done professionally, , and I can’t afford $50 to have that done.

Oh, and I also added –> in the sidebar –> a section called “My Status”. If there’s anything you’d like to know what I’m currently addicted to, purchasing, working on, etc, let me know in this thread, and I’ll add it

You take one glance at me, and you most likely wouldn’t notice. You just see what you would assume of being errant hairs. But buried there is a secret I’m hiding.

I was diagnosed with trichtillomania at fifteen, just months before my offical bi-polar diagnosis. While it’s not as debilitating as the bipolar, trich has done a number on me. I refuse to wear my hair completely down. I’m scared the hair will move wrong and someone will notice. Even partly up freaks me out a little. It’s really sad, because everyone tells me my hair looks better down. Every day I feel the increasing urge to pull. It’s like a burning sensation in my hands sometimes. I’m likely to rip your head off if you comment on me about it, if I’m in the middle of pulling. It can be a single strand at a time, or large chunks.

The saddest thing of all of it is that it undermines me, my self-esteem, and my self-confidence is doing things. If I can’t stop pulling, how can I expect to be a good mom, a good girlfriend/wife, a good daughter, sister, friend? Seeing the piles, and yes, some places have piles, makes me want to either cry non-stop, or just end it all. I hate feeling like this, and I hate the stigma I’m putting on my children. Ethan’s already starting to imitate, and that just breaks my heart. I don’t want that pain to be on him. He deserves so much more.

To those that read my journal, this is something very big for me, to admit it, out in the open, that I’ve got this problem. The first step is admitting. Maybe now, I can find a way of dealing with it, and helping to keep myself from doing it. Behind the “cut” are pictures of what I’m talking about.

(more…)

God, it’s 9:43 in the damn morning, and I’ve been up for an hour. I barely got any sleep last night and it freaking sucks Just couldn’t, for the life of me, fall asleep. *grumble*

And, in case you didn’t notice, there’s a new theme I couldn’t get the borders to work right, and all the suggestions given to me just never worked BUT!! I love this one. It’s so cute and fun. Lorisha did a great job. Another reason to check out her site and join up (make sure you say Sarah sent ya).

Today’s gonna be a busy day, graphics wise. I’m hoping to get a few things going, but we’ll see how that goes, I guess, . Here’s the list of things:

• Halloween tags
• Halloween IM letters
• Fall tags
• Fall IM letters
• Thanksgiving tags
• Thanksgiving IM letters
• Christmas tags
• Christmas IM letters
• WP themes in a variety of styles
• anything else that’s suggested

And that’s on top of the fact that I’ve laundry coming out of my ears, and dishes seriously need to be done. *pops pill* Well, at least that’s one last thing to worry about, . Other than that, it’s gonna be a lazy day as I gear myself up for a sudden rise of temps. We’re talking mid-90’s for 3 days. O.o Totally unheard of in Kansas in October (did ya’ll forget October starts at midnight?).

from Angel, of The Pixel Pantry

 
Now :  All Star - Smash Mouth
Later :  Lilo and Stitch (the movie)

Okay, I thought of something, and I’m not sure if I like it. I’m thinking of, maybe, creating a “members only” area for my sigtag club. That way I can add tubes and what-not for the places that I can sell tubes from. I’m not sure how well it’ll go, though. I’ll also add IM letters and the like (no OE/Outlook, because I don’t use it and refuse to use it, ).
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Now :  Josh talking to Madi
Later :  Elmo in the bedroom, Madden in the living room

Yeap, that’s right. I’m coming down with something. I’m dizzy, woozy, and icky all over.
No, I’m not pregnant, I promise, . First off, last time was just Saturday, and before that was 2 months ago. Definitely ain’t pregnant, .
No, it’s teh fucking weather changes, and the fact that I have to open the windows because the old bitch in TWO can’t cut down on her smoking. Our apartment REEKS of cigarrettes, and 1 and 6 don’t smoke, and 2 does. *gag* It’s disgusting. I wish the biddy would just die of the carbon monoxide poisoning already. How hasn’t she yet. FFS, if I can smell it in here, and I’m DIAGONAL from her, how the fuck hasn’t she? All I gotta say si that I feel so bad for everyone who lives in the apartments around her. 6 had to have her filter for the AC changed because of it. The thing was BLACk as night. GROSS!

Yesterday was a bad day, physically for me. I had a blood sugar droppage, and it was a major one. So, I eat, to help with it. First I wanna pass out, and then I just want to vomit. Fun, oh, fun.

Still no luck getting any help on how to do the borders I guess either a) no one wants to help, or b) no one knows the answer. I’m gonna re-send later today, because I’d really like a response, and some advice

I really need to update my doll site because I haven’t since the 3rd of this month. O.o Oh goodness, . Newest creations:

Base is by Tequila Sunrise. I tried a different way of shading, and I really like the result. At least with the top. With the second, it was supposed to a self-portrait style, but not happy with it.

I really dislike the brats today. I’m sick and tired of them doing shit that I’ve told them over and over not to do, and not doing what I’ve told them to do. Madi’s refusing to share, and Ethan’s refusing to not mess with the stereo. *screams*

from Zarbella, of Sig Safari

 
Now :  Sirens
Later :  Uh, Lilo and Stitch

Something I wrote while waiting for the PC to restart:

I see the looks
They think I’m wrong
They think they know
But they know nothing
Life isn’t black and white
It has shades of grey through out
These same people are hypocrites
Spouting their filth without end
Why do they do it?
What is with the incessant need?
Let me live my life
And you just live yours
Just go away
And stay that way

Yeah, but there are some other happy tidings:
1) Season Premiere of 7th Heaven is tonight *
2) Josh and I have set a tentative date for something very important. On our 10th anniversary, we’ll be *fingers crossed* officially tying the knot. We’ve got our own reasons for waiting, but we’re not waiting until 2017 when the next 16th falls on a Saturday, . The kids would be too old then. At least at that point in time, Megan’ll be 22, so she’ll be able to plan a decent bachelorette party.

Speaking of which, if Crystal, Julie’s sister, needs the help, I’ll be pitching in with buying things for Julie’s bachelorette and bridal shower. Josh is so sweet and understanding with that, knowing that we’re way better off financially and understands I’d really like to be able to do that for her

Somethin’ else!! I’m trying to decide what the hell to wear for Halloween. I’m gonna force myself to squeeze into the costume from last year, for trick-or-treating, but the weekend before, there’s hopefully going to be a Halloween party, and I wanna go all out. All I know is that I want to look kind of trampish. Maybe something like this with a short black skirt and my black zip-up boots, and some thigh highs. I think it would look good. Have my hair all curled and falling around everywhere. That, or I wanna do the “naughty school girl” theme. I think I could pull that off, . Hot Topic has the skirts that I want for either outfit, so that’s good, .

from Angel, at the The Pixel Pantry

 
Now :  Supernatural - dcTalk
Later :  it's off, LOL

The current theme is only temporary. I’m working on the new one right now. I just wanted something a bit different, since I screwed up the one with Monkey on it, .

So, if you see funky out of place things, don’t worry. I’m working on ‘em